


Call Me Stupid, Call Me Sad; You're The Best I've Ever Had

by deadlolidollie



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood is a self sacrificing dingus, Asmodeus is abusive plain and simple, BAMF Magnus Bane, Based loosely on the one scene from the 3x20 promo, Hurt/Comfort, I sincerely hope Mangus yeets him into the ether, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Kissing, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Monologging like a Scooby-Doo villain gets you in trouble my dude, Past Abuse, Possible Spoilers, Punching your abuser with magic is self care, Reunions, These two are soulmates and I am sad, Throw out the whole Asmodeus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 17:57:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18579631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlolidollie/pseuds/deadlolidollie
Summary: If Magnus' infernal father had been less of a pompous ass, his little plan to capture a heartbroken, devastated version of his son to rule by his side might have actually worked.Fortunately for Magnus, his father was rather predictable on all accounts.





	Call Me Stupid, Call Me Sad; You're The Best I've Ever Had

**Author's Note:**

> This kinda grew legs and became a fic before I could stop it /shrug emoji
> 
> This also was not meant to be my first foray into this fandom after lurking since like early 2017 BUT YET. I had to get this out because I need my children happy and the rest of the season can't come soon enough. Enjoy, y'all. :D
> 
> Title is from 11 Minutes by Yungblud ft Halsey+Travis Barker which has been stuck in my damn soul since it came out

“You see all that I can give you, my son?” Asmodeus drawled, a smirk dancing across his already smug features. He’d given Magnus his loft back (and banished Lorenzo who knows where, but Magnus would cross that bridge when it crawled angrily out of the hole his father sent it to.), and was looking entirely pleased with himself.

“If you’re still expecting a thank you, you won’t get one,” Magnus said, not bothering to hide the lingering bitterness in his voice. There was a part of him that was happy his father had found him, but there was also a stinging sense of irony that the man only seemed to turn up when Magnus was at his lowest.

“You’ll learn to thank me,” Asmodeus said, his signature air of smugness never leaving him. “I’ve done more for you than that pathetic Nephilim ever could.”

Magnus visibly flinched at the mention of Alec.

“See, even the mention of him brings you pain,” Asmodeus all but coo’d, gently cupping his son’s face as the warlock flinched more at the contact. “He left when you needed him most, threw you away as if you were nothing more than trash to him. This is why you belong with me, accepting your true destiny and ruling by my side.”

Magnus turned away from his father, wrenching himself out of the man’s grip. He’d never wanted to rule Edom. Ever.

“One would think you’re being ungrateful, my boy.” Asmodeus tsk’d. “After I ensured everything would go so perfectly, and made all of these arrangements to ensure you had no more ties to this mortal plane.”

_No. He didn’t._

Magnus whipped around, facing his father with a newly found anger. “What arrangements exactly did you make?”

Asmodeus’ smirk turned into a full blown grin. “Why I did what had to be done to make my dear boy whole again.”

“What. Did. You. DO?!” Magnus’ cat eyes were on full display as his anger reached a new peak.

“I merely took advantage of things that were already there,” Asmodeus said, completely unfazed by his son’s anger. “Like that idiotic Nephilim’s self-sacrificing tendencies.”

Magic came to life in the palm of Magnus’ hand, but still Asmodeus continued on.

“He was holding you back and I told him so. Gave him a price he couldn’t refuse. Do my dirty work for me and I would give you back your magic.” The Greater Demon folded his hands in front of him, poised and still unperturbed by the magic that crackled ever threateningly in Magnus’ hands as he continued to explain his foolproof plans. “I knew he’d break his own heart a thousand times over if it meant his love would be “whole” again. So I gave him an ultimatum: end his relationship with you before he became your undoing.”

That was the final straw.

Something inside Magnus snapped then; red, angry magic crackled through his veins and exploded from his palms. It formed itself into a whip of sorts, much like the one Isabelle carried, and shocked Asmodeus to the core, knocking him down from where he stood and colliding his now crumpled form with the ornate rug of the loft living room with a loud crack.

“You bastard!” Magnus spat, rage seething through his every fiber. “You can’t stand the thought of me not needing you, can you?!” He sent another bolt of magic surging through his father, not caring if he singed a hole in the floor in the process. He was letting out centuries of pent up rage against the man who he’d once thought of as his savior. Now? He’d almost been his undoing.

“You _do_ need me!” Asmodeus coughed out, struggling against the shocks of Magnus’ magic striking his body from every angle. “I am the only one who will ever love you for what you are!”

“No. There’s someone else. Someone you tried to take away from me!” The strand of magic that was coiled around Asmodeus crept alarmingly close to his throat as Magnus stepped closer to his father.

“That Shadowhunter is nothing! I am your only solace in this cruel world!”

The statement touched Magnus for a brief second; like a gentle breeze reminding him of times passed. “Not anymore you’re not.” With a final flick of his wrist, he banished his father back to Edom, leaving nothing but a small sprinkling of ashes in his wake.

_Now, time to find a certain self-sacrificing Nephilim._

~

Alec tried to find it in him to comfort Jace after the portal closed and his parabatai fell to the floor in a defeated heap. But he couldn’t. His mind was numb at this point. 

He walked to the ops center computer and immediately started coming up with a plan, throwing himself into work as a distraction as Izzy offered their brother a gentle hug and a promise to bring Clary back safe. Alec barked out a few orders to some nearby Shadowhunters before looking back at his siblings. “Izzy, Jace, you know what you have to do. Form a plan and get Clary back safely. I’ll keep the Clave off your trail as long as I can.” They both nodded, looking like they wanted to say something about Alec’s sudden shift, but deciding they had bigger problems to worry about. 

Alec gave a bone deep sigh and walked back to his office, shutting the door with a soft click behind him before collapsing into his desk chair. It felt like a piece of his soul had been ripped out. He thought he’d felt pain when he felt Jace die, but no, this was worse. Because this had been Alec’s fault.

_“You’re not this selfish!”_

Magnus’ words rang in his head, mocking him almost. If Alec had been selfish he’d still have Magnus in his arms, and he wouldn’t be this miserable.

_But Magnus wouldn’t have his magic,_ a voice in his head reminded him. _He’d resent you every day because of what you did. You did him a favor in the long run; he’ll get over you and love again._

Alec scrubbed at his eyelids with the heel of his hands, banishing the nagging voice that was starting to coax his brain into unsafe territory. It’d been a while since Alec had intentionally hurt himself, but the louder the nagging voice got, the more appealing shooting off arrows on the practice area until his hands bled sounded.

A knock on his office door stirred Alec from his thoughts.

“Come in,” he said, clearing his throat and putting on his Head of the Institute persona and picking up some forgotten mission reports to make himself appear busy. He almost didn’t look to see who had entered his office until they were right in front of him.

“I know I said you’d blow up the very ground you stood upon to make things right, but I didn’t think you’d take my words literally.”

Alec’s eyes almost bugged out comically as he saw Magnus standing before him.

“M-Magnus?” He exclaimed, trying to gather himself and getting hastily to his feet. “What are you-”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t put two and two together after a while?” Magnus asked, tone sharp. “Or that my father wouldn’t start monologging like a mundane cartoon villain and brag about how he took advantage of the both of us to carry out his scheme of breaking me so badly I’d have no choice but to come crawling back to him to rule by his side in Edom like he’s always wanted?”

Alec stayed silent, avoiding Magnus’ piercing gaze at all costs.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, softer but still with an air of authority. “Look at me.”

Alec’s eyes slipped shut for the briefest moment and he let out a shaky sigh as he gathered himself enough to look Magnus in the face. The warlock’s cat eyes blinked back at him, confirming that Asmodeus had held up his end of the bargain. “Magnus, I-” he began, voice wavering as he tried to gather the hundreds of thoughts that swam in his mind.

“You really think you mean so little to me?” All traces of anger were gone from Magnus’ tone; his expression one of something akin to hurt now.

Alec breathed in again, voice wavering as he tried to speak again. “I’m just one person. I could live with breaking myself into a thousand pieces if it meant you would have a chance to start over; even if that meant I wouldn’t be in your life.”

Magnus shook his head, stepping around Alec’s desk so he could properly stand in front of him without a giant wooden block separating them. “Losing my magic was devastating, yes. But losing you? You saw as I begged, pleaded with you to stay.” He paused, realizing he’d at least managed to gain Alec’s full attention. “Losing you felt like losing a part of my very soul.”

Alec shuddered, averting his gaze as he shrunk in on himself. He wanted more than anything to reach out and touch Magnus at the very least. But, something inside him said he wasn’t allowed; he had lost that privilege when he’d taken the heart of the man he loved and shattered it into a thousand pieces.

Magnus reached a hesitant hand out, taking Alec’s in his own. “Alexander, my father is back in Edom where he belongs. Whatever “deal” he made with you has no consequences now.”

“Why?” Alec managed to say as he failed to stop his entire body from shaking. “I hurt you, I lied to you, I- I broke your heart!” Stray tears slid down his face before he could stop them. He wanted to shout at Magnus to leave before he caused any more damage, any more pain.

“Because,” Magnus said simply, moving to gently cup Alec’s face with the hand that had been holding his a moment ago. “I love you, you stupid Nephilim.” He leaned up the final few inches and kissed Alec’s forehead. “You self-sacrificing,” a kiss to Alec’s cheek “caring,” a kiss to his other cheek “wonderful,” a soft kiss on the tip of Alec’s nose “Nephilim.” Magnus stopped short of Alec’s lips, looking into his eyes as if asking for permission. 

Something inside the Shadowhunter seemed to finally break and he pulled Magnus into him for an almost bruising kiss. His hands were shaking as they slid up to tangle in the spiky locks of Magnus’ carefully quaffed mohawk. “I’m s-so sorry,” Alec mumbled against Magnus’ lips as he pulled away just enough to breathe properly. “I wanted to fix what I’d fucked up so badly in the first place that I just- By the Angel I didn’t think-” 

Alec’s thoughts were jumbled, he wanted to say so much at once but it seemed like not enough. “I almost broke when you asked me to stay,” he confessed finally. “I almost kissed you back and told you I’d changed my mind and I didn’t want life without you because being with you is as natural as breathing.” 

Magnus pressed a kiss to Alec’s lips at this statement. Firm, but not as frantic as before. The shattered pieces of his heart were slowly starting to slot back together, albeit rather jaggedly. “Just promise me one thing,” Magnus asked, looking into the soft and slightly tear filled hazel eyes of the man he loved.

“Anything,” Alec said immediately, not wanting this moment to end.

“Don’t make any life-altering decisions in my honor ever again.”

Alec let out a watery laugh. “I promise.” He pulled Magnus back against him, not wanting to let him out of his embrace ever again. 

Magnus tucked his head into the crook of Alec’s shoulder, nuzzling into the stark black deflect rune on his neck and giving it a soft kiss. His father may think he knows what’s best for him, but this? Having his Alexander in his arms and not ripped away from him thanks to an abusive, controlling, Greater Demon? _This_ is what’s best for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand that's all~ Feel free to cry with me on Tumblr under the same name about these two nerds ;-;


End file.
